Brown Willy Tor

Rude UK Walks to Make You Smile

Lighten the lockdown load with our guide to rude walks. We take you schlepping through Shitterton, dragging your arse through Scratchy Bottom and hiking to the top of Brown Willy.

10 minute read...

Rude Walks to Raise a Smile this Lockdown

Some days you just need to lighten the lockdown load. While indoor activities are a no-go right now, we’d thought we’d share some great little UK walks, with even greater place names.

So get out there and grab an obligatory signpost selfie. Because let’s face it, no instagram account is complete until you post a picture of you schlepping through Shitterton, dragging your arse through Scratchy Bottom or perching on top of Brown Willy.

Side smirks at the ready...

1. Bell End, near Lickey End, Worcestershire

A delightful hamlet in Worcestershire - Bell End in Lickey End - came first in a poll for the UK’s rudest place names. Download a great little walking guide .

Bell end

2. Brown Willy, Cornwall

Cornwall’s highest hill, with a summit reaching 1,378 feet (420 meters) above sea level. It looks different from every angle. There are naturally occurring piles of granite boulders around the summit, and one, known as the Cheesewring is composed of five separate rocks which get progressively higher towards the top.
Download our Brown Willy Walk 

Brown willy

3. Twatt, Orkney

Vist Twatt. Number 4 on the Rude Britain list and location of a former Royal Navy Air Station which shut in 1949. Check out this 8-hour hike along the West Coast of Orkney, featuring dramatic 120 metre cliffs and neolithic settlements:


4. Nob End, South Lancashire

We love a ‘rewilding’ success story and Nob End is one such place. It’s a prime example of how nature can reclaim a place given time and a little encouragement. This former mill site was used a dumping ground for sulphuric acid and washing soda, but is now home to rare orchids and wildflowers like bee orchid, marsh helleborine, autumn gentian and blue-eyed grass. It’s now an Site of Special Scientific Interest (SSSI).

Nob end

5. Scratchy Bottom, Dorset

This clifftop valley sits between Durdle Door and Swyre Head. The name refers to a rough hollow. Not only is it famous for its unfortunate name, but it also featured in the 1967 film ‘Far From the Madding Crowd’, in which a farmer’s sheep were dramatically driven over the cliff by his sheepdog.
Check out our super easy walk 

Scratchy bottom

6. Shitterton, Dorset

The residents of Shitterton were so sick of their village sign being pinched, they forked out for a new heavy stone sign which is now firmly cemented into the ground. Shitterton is actually named after excrement; referring to the stream running through it which was once used as a sewer. Thankfully these days, the brook that runs through the village is is clear and sparking and this pretty little place is as unshitty as can be. See for yourself with this 5 mile walk passing through Shitterton and Piddle Wood. Download our walking guide here: 


7. Happy Bottom Nature Reserve, Dorset

Part of the Corfe Barrows nature park, this lovely little spot features ancient barrows, Victorian railways and roman roads. A new path and boardwalk makes this a great spot for easy trundles in the fresh air. Happy Bottom, happy mind.

Find out more about the trails here https://www.dorsetwildlifetrus...

Happy bottom

More delightfully rude place names in the UK

  1. Boggy Bottom, Hertfordshire
  2. Minge Lane, Worcestershire
  3. Dicks Mount, Suffolk
  4. Crotch Crescent, Oxford
  5. Fanny Barks, Durham
  6. Shaggs, east Lulworth, Dorset
  7. Scratch Arse Ware, Dorset

What does Land & Wave do when you’re not writing about rude places?

Glad you asked! We’re an adventure company based in Dorset, which specialises in Outdoor Instructor Training. We deliver a 15-week programme which gets people from all walks of life ready for a career in the outdoors. You can find out more here

by Rosie Tanner

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